Ugh! Yup I am STILL pregnant!

This should come as no surprise to anyone especially me. I cook my babies like a crock pot: slow and steady and slightly overdone. But oh how I wish I had a little Microwave in me at this point. LOL!

My days seem to be all running together. I get up in the morning and feed kids breakfast, make Kaleb's lunch, do Jasmyn's hair. I take the kids to school. Then Mason and I come home or maybe run some errands, but even the errands are few and far between because there just isn't much going on at this point. Mason has been watching and re-watching the cartoon movie "Bolt" every morning while we wait for Jasmyn to be done at Kindergarten. At 11:40am we pick Jasmyn up and then head home again. We wake Tim up when we get home and then we all eat lunch/breakfast together. I usually cook. Ugh. I am so tired of cooking and eating and cooking and eating. Then Jasmyn and Mason hang out with Tim while I lay down for a rest. My body is just tired these days. Eventually Tim picks Kaleb up from school and then he gets ready for work. Tim is usually out the door by late afternoon and I am on my own with the kids, internet, dinner, dishes and bedtime.

Before bedtime I have this routine where I pick up the whole house. The kids pick up the toys, put away dirty clothes, unload the dishwasher, take a bath, get into PJs and we do bedtime routine. After they are in bed I finish cleaning the house. Everything has a place and everything in its place. Because I do this routine every single day it takes oh about 20 minutes. But I just know I can't relax until it is all done. And my desire to have a stress free labor and birth at home inspires me to keep my house looking like a museum.

See my kitchen has to be clean so that if I go into labor that I can rearrange the kitchen table to put the birth pool in place. The kitchen sink needs to be clean so that we can hook up the hose to fill the tub. The table has to be clean so the midwife has somewhere to set up her supplies. The living room has to be clean so I have a place to lay down if I decide to labor out of water. The futon has to be laid down so I can cover it with water proof sheets to prepare for the possibility of the birth happening there. The bathroom has to be clean so it can be used during labor and afterwards. My room has to be clean so that I can relax in there and rest after the baby is born. And anyone that has been in my house knows the only other rooms upstairs are the kids rooms and they have to be clean because that is just the kind of Mother I am!

But if I am honest with myself and really think about when I actually need to start with this ritual of cleaning I would realize I could put it off for oh.... like...... another 10-15 days! I know I won't be pregnant forever... but at this point I would love to zap this baby OUT OF MY BODY!

And why do MW and OBs give women due dates? They don't know when you are gonna birth. More often than not they are WRONG with their "due dates" anyway. In fact my MW and I currently don't agree on my due date. She says 10/6 and I say 10/4. But since I was actually there for the conception I am sticking with my "due date". But really what does THAT mean anyway? Not even the experts can agree on how to calculate a due date. Some say it is 280 days from your LMP (last menstrual period). Some say you take your LMP, then subtract 3 months and add 15 days.

So by first method..... 280 days from my LMP which is Dec 28, 2008 would put my due date at 10/4.

By the second method I would take Dec 28 and subtract 3 months which would be Sept 28th. Then add 15 days to Sept 28th which puts my due date at 10/13.

A variation is that you take the LMP and subtract 3 months and then add 10 days if the women has had previous births. Since I have had previous births, that would put my due date at 10/8.

So my theory is that if I go by my LMP + 280 and then average how far overdue I went with each of my previous babies I would come up with a "due date". So with Kaleb I went 11 days overdue. Jasmyn a mere 3 days over. And Mason was a whopping 6 days over. So that is the average of 6.66 days over due. If you add that to my 10/4 due date that puts my AVERAGE due date at 10/10.

This puts a range of "due date" from 10/4 all the way up to 10/13. Then you add in the stress and pressure of NOT going over the MW's 42 week mark which according to them would be 10/20.

So really I have a due MONTH not a due date. Anywhere from 10/4 to 10/20. That ladies and gentlemen is a LONG spread of dates. As of today... I could be pregnant for another 3.5 weeks.

And I can't even drink any wine to help me pass the time.

Mud Goddess

This pregnancy seems to be coming back full circle to Sara and I's day in the woods that happened over a year ago. Here is the link to read about what all that included. A few weeks ago Sara and I traveled back up the river where we orginally did our fertility ritual to revisit the beautiful scenery and also to collect river stones to remind me of the river during my birthing time. Sara has also written a birth meditation journey that included elements of this special spot on the river. You can read her journey here.

We started out by making mud. We gathered dirt from the side of the bank next to the river. We added some of the mud we made at the original ritual to our jar and then we added river water to make mud. We stirred it with a tree branch until the right consistency was achieved. Then Sara spread the mud on my belly.

My view from above

Then Sara took the stones we had gathered from the original ritual and started to draw the Mud Goddess on my belly. She had wild beautiful hair.

And large full breasts that are able to nourish her child.

And a big pregnant belly full of baby

The star with the swirl represents our baby. This image originally appears in the birth Mandala created for me by my Aunt Kathy. I will post pictures of that belly painting in another blog post.

See the river behind my belly? So beautiful!

The full view of our Mud Goddess

View of the beautiful scenery beyond my belly.

It was an awesome experience and was shared with my dear friend Sara. She has been such a huge support to me during the course of my infertility and also this pregnancy. I love you Sara and thank you for all you have done to help me heal and to celebrate the new life growing inside me.

Belly Paintings by Sara

Sara painted my belly to look like Candy!

Since the baby is due to be born in October we figured a Pumpkin was a great way to celebrate my growing belly and the birth of our baby!

And since our baby is a boy and will certainly be the "prince" we figured a frog prince was a sweet way to celebrate that!

I got Tim beat on size but he totally beat me with hairiness! (thankfully)

My view from above!

My beautiful and talented artist Sara!

Love it!

Lady Bug Belly Painting

It has been so much fun being pregnant. Ok minus the lack of sleep, 2am potty breaks, and lower back pain! LOL My dear friend Sara has gone over and above the call of duty in doing things to make me feel loved and special during my pregnancy. And my loving husband and kids have also bend over backwards to make this a special time for me and us as a family. One of the things that they have done for me is BELLY PAINTINGS!!!! Below is a bunch of pictures of Tim and the kids doing a belly painting of a Lady Bug. Sorry for picture overload, but I just wanted to share the fun! I will also be uploading some other belly painting pictures that Sara has done in another blog post!

Pregnancy Update 14

On Tuesday I had a MW appointment. I was officially 37w2d at the time of my appointment. My urine was negative for both glucose and protein. I have gained 1 pound since my last weigh in 2 weeks ago. BUt I am still down from my pre-pregnant weight. The baby sounds awesome. He is still head down and his heart rate was in the 135's. He is also growing like a weed and my fundus measured 41cm. The only thing that was not great was my blood pressure. It was a bit high at 122/84. This is considerable higher than my average BP during the course of my pregnancy. Both the MW and I feel it had everything to do with the level of stress I was under that day. We will continue to watch my BP and see what happens. 122/84 is still within the range of normal for pregnancy, it is just higher than what my average BP had been up to this point. If it continues to be a problem we will ave to address why that is and come up with some solutions for it.

I also have been having lots more contractions. These are not the typical Braxton Hicks (BHC)type contractions. For me anyway BHC are usually just in my belly in the front. They are not painful and really are just a tightening of my uterine muscles. The contractions I have been feeling are more in my lower back, slightly painful and are more menstrual crampy feeling. Basically like how early labor feels for most people. But because I know my body and I have been through this a few times I realize what I am probably experiencing is Prodromal labor. Basically where you have early labor for days or weeks until you finally get to the active labor part. I have done this with all my pregnancies. In Jasmyn and Mason's case it just meant that when active labor hit it was fast and intense. I truly feel that it was due to prodromal labor for the weeks leading up to my birthing time that made my actual labor go so quickly with Jasmyn and Mason. I was only in active labor with Jasmyn for 5 1/2 hrs and only 3 hrs with Mason. I think that because Kaleb was my first baby that the prodromal labor I experienced with him just did not have enough time to truly kick in before I agreed to an induction. But for an induced first time labor I would say that even that was short and sweet at only about 16 hrs.

So when I mentioned my contractions to my MW she thought it would be a good idea to check me and see how far dilated I am. Since my labor with Mason was so short they just want to be sure I am not in active labor yet. So I allowed her to check my cervix. I have to admit I was curious as to what she would find. My cervix is dilated to 1.5 cm. It has to get to 10cm before I can start to push so I have work to do there. My cervix is considered "ripe". Basically an unripe cervix feels like the tip of your nose. A ripe cervix feels like your bottom lip. Your cervix has to get soft and ripe in order to efface and open. My cervix is "ripe", but long, meaning I am not effaced. And the baby's head is at - 3 station. -4 would be floating above my pelvis. -2 or -1 would be starting to engage. 0 station wold be right in the middle of my pelvis and anything +1through +4 would be during actual labor. So baby is still sitting high. Which I already knew since I can't seems to take a deep breath! LOL!

The only other complaint I have at this stage in my pregnancy other than the contractions is that I am just so tired all the time. But I realize this is par for the course. I always get tired at this stage. It takes so much effort to even do things like roll over in bed and do housework. So I am back to taking a daily (OK sometimes twice daily) nap. Thankfully Tim is understanding about my need to rest and has been picking up some of the slack around the house and with the kids. He is such a great husband and Dad.

So my next appointment is on Tuesday. I am getting closer and closer to my due date. But Tim and I are anticipating that I will go over due. I figure in about 3 weeks or less I will be holding my baby!

Pregnancy update 13

Well I am officially "full term". Basically I have made it to the point where baby is 100% viable if born at this point! If I went into labor I could have my home birth and everything would go smoothly in terms of lung development and such! Yippie!

Last week my MW came to do a homevisit. She wanted to familiarize herself with how to get to my house, how my house is laid out and where my birth supplies are. She also did a prenatal check up on me and baby! This was also an opportunity for our whole birth team to meet the Midiwfe. Beth is most likely gonna be at my birth since the other MW Linda is on her honeymoon and has to have surgery the first week of October. Sara and Tim had never met Beth before so it was good to have everyone met and start creating a bond. It was very exciting!

The nitty gritty of the appointment was my urine was negative for both protein and glucose. My blood pressure was good. I think it was like 112/60 or something but I did not write down the actual numbers. My fundus is measuring at 39 cm which is right on track since my last appointment in terms of baby's growth. We listened to the baby's heart rate and actually got video of the heart beat again. His heart rate was in the 140's. Baby is still head down!

I also got tested for Group B Strep. I will not find out the results from that test until sometime next week. Since I tend to deliver quickly we came up with some alternate plans for making sure our risk is reduced if the test comes back positive for Group B strep. It is unlikely that the MW would be able to administer the IV antibiotics in time for them to be effective, simply because the antibiotics take 4 hrs to take effect and my last birth was only 3 hrs. So we discussed our options for that. Hopefully I won't have to deal with it at all. I am hoping the test comes back negative!

We are now at the point where I see the MW every week! (eek! it is getting close) So my next appointment is tomorrow the 15th. I am still thinking I will go another 3-4 weeks until I actually birth, but up until then I will be seeing the MW every week.

I also noticed that I have not put up a recent belly picture in a while so on the right >>>>>> side bar there are pictures of my every growing belly at 36 and 37 weeks! Enjoy!

Also coming soon are some pictures of a recent trip Sara and I took up to the river. It was very fun! I will be working on the pictures and getting them posted in the next few days!

Birth Necklace

Above is a picture of my birth necklace. You can read more about the birth necklace and why it was made for me here. Also if you want to send me a special bead to show me your love and support, I would be honored to add it to the necklace! Just email me and I will send you my address! I wrote the names down next to the beads so I would remember all the love that was shown to me!

Thanks for reading and wanting to be a part of my special Mother's blessing, pregnancy and upcoming birth!

Mother's Blessing Part 5: Favors

Jen's Mothers' Blessing Favor Bags

******these bags were given out at my Mother's blessing, but the meaning behind them was so cool I wanted to share with all of you!******

This little gift is filled with a candle and a few natural items I gathered from the forest for you to enjoy......each representing one of the sacred elements.....and each having a special place in reminding you to think about Jen as she continues her pregnancy and prepares for labor and birth. Each piece will remind you of Jen's journey to her place on the River....and will take you outdoors and into the forest, surrounded by the beauty of Nature. I invite you to place these items where you will see them throughout your day to remind you of Jen....so you can send her loving, positive and feminine energy for her pregnancy and labor. Here is a description of each item and why each is important.

~The candle represents the element of Fire…..passionate and primal....like the incredible energy women find within themselves as they labor....like the ancient women before them. In Jen's journey, we send warm light and loving energy into a circle around Jen....light from the warm sun surrounding her on the bank of the River as she relaxes and prepares for birth. As she goes into labor, everyone will be contacted and invited to light their candle. Jen will know that her circle of women have been gathered in spirit and have begun sending their energy as she labors.... lighting your candle will help create the bright circle of our energy and warmth around her. Jen also has a special blue birth candle I gave her to light when she goes into labor, connecting her candle flame and energy with all of ours.


~The sea salts represent the element of Water….ebbing and flowing like swelling waves of the beautiful ocean….like the intense wave of every contraction we experience in labor.....like the salty and warm water within our wombs where our babies are nourished and growing. These salts come directly from the ocean and connect all of us to the powerful energy harnessed in those waves of water. The River in Jen's journey flows along in it's own journey out into the waters of the great ocean. Soaking in the salts is a wonderful and relaxing way to enjoy the ocean's nourishing minerals, detoxify your body and refresh your spirit.......it will connect you with Jen as she soaks in warm water as she labors at home. You can send her your relaxing energy and strength so she feels empowered and relaxed through her contractions.....and send her baby your love as he floats in the "ocean" of her womb. Enjoy your sea salts as a refreshing foot bath or two....add some fresh flowers or leaves, or your piece of cedar bough....as we did at Jen's blessing.....or draw a nice warm bath, add the salts and relax.

~ The river rock represents the element of Earth....ancient and grounding and solid....a beautiful piece from the Earth, tumbled by the rushing water and down the mountains into Jen's place on the River. I spent a part of a day walking in the cool water and selecting the beautiful rocks to give to each person in their bags. Each rock carries with it the energy of the rushing waters of the River.....and the calm and grounding energy of the Earth that formed the rocks so long ago. Jen and I love these rocks. Every time we visit the River, we take time to walk in the clear water and pick rocks for our gardens, it's one of our favorite parts of going up there. It is meditative and relaxing. We will be making one last trip to the River to select rocks for her to have in the room during her labor. I also gave Jen a beautiful rock I found from the River, it's a blue-green heart shaped rock as a gift for the baby.....and continues the tradition we have of giving birth rocks to each other. You can place your rock in a favorite place in your home, or carry it with you.....connecting you with Jen.....knowing it is a piece of her favorite place.

~ The cedar branch represents the element of Air.....the lacy boughs stretching and reaching tall into the sky as they grow towards the sun....their sweet scent carried in the warm breeze.....a piece of these ancient and wise trees that have been growing for hundreds of years.....their roots running deep into the moist and nourishing Earth below. As you walk into the woods up on the River, you feel the presence and beauty of these tall pines all around you.....as you breathe-in the clean air, you can enjoy the sweet and refreshing smell of the cedars and other pines, mingled with the wildflowers and cool Earth. Your cedar bough will dry out, but you can gently crush the needles and gently release the sweet scent.....letting your mind drift into the green, lush forest....and up onto the River .....reminding you to breathe deeply and calmly, relaxing with each breath.... just as I will remind Jen to breathe while she labors, following the natural rhythms of her body.

~The pine cone represents and celebrates fertility, birth and new life. The tiny cones are beautiful to look at, but are also the seed and life-force of the tree......the beginnings of new life are contained within each seed inside each cone. Each tiny seed may someday grow into a beautiful and tall pine tree. When I found the cones scattered on the forest floor, they were so tiny and closed, I almost missed seeing them. After I gathered the cones, and brought them home and into the warmth, they began to open and "flower" into the cones I gave each of you. I found this to be a powerful symbol of the relaxing and dilating a woman must go through before labor and birth, she must feel comfortable and loved and supported before her body will share the new life inside her. Let your pinecone be a tiny symbol of the beautiful and tall pine trees in the forest, a reminder of the fertility and life within all living things.....and the joy of celebrating a new life. This loving energy you send out to Jen will help her to feel comfortable and supported.....so her body can relax and open itself to labor.....and let her baby come peacefully into this world.

Pregnancy Update # 12

I had a Midwife appointment last week and it occurred to me that I have not posted the results on that here yet. I also have received the final test results on my Glucose Tolerance Test as well! So here goes!

My MW Appt was on Aug 25th with nmy MW Linda. I was 34w2d pregnant at that time. I have gained 3 pounds since my last appointment 2 weeks ago. My urine was negative for glucose and protein. I rocked my Blood pressure at 112/64! It has been very consistent my whole pregnancy! I am very happy about that. In my past pregnancies that has not always been the case. Linda measured my fundus and it is still measuring a bit ahead at 37cm. It should be around 34cm, but 37 is within the range of normal. The biggest thing Linda is looking for is to make sure it is still growing. I had a 7 cm growth spurt between 24-28 weeks and since then it has leveled out and I have been growing 1 cm a week like expected. I think that is pretty normal for my kids. We listened to the baby's heart rate and it was in the 120's. Jasmyn came with me to the appointment, so I captured her hearing the baby's heart rate on video using my cell phone. Click below to hear it!



Pretty cool, huh?!?!?!

I also got the results of my GTT. Basically I body did just fine with the glucose overload! My numbers were fine so my MW Linda and my Dr. of endocrinology Dr. L both agreed that I do not have Gestational Diabetes!!!! So everything seems like it is going well. My next appointment is the 9th of September. My primary MW Linda is taking the month of September off to get married and go on her honeymoon so her MW partner Beth will be covering all the on call for the month of September and some of October. So Beth figured that since she has never been to my house that she should come and do a home visit so that she can find my house, see how it is set up and check to make sure I have all my birth supplies in order. I am excited for my homevisit simply because it is milestone that shows that I am close to the end of my pregnancy and getting to meet my baby! After my Home visit I will then start seeing the MW for prenatal appointments on a weekly basis. Eek! It is getting close! I am both excited and a bit anxious!

In preparation for my upcoming home visit Tim and I have been getting our house and the birth supplies ready! It is exciting!!!! We have the supplies in a 3 drawer portable dresser in our dinning room. The birth pool is filled with air and stored in our basement ready for my birthing time. We have the faucet adapter on the kitchen sink to hook the hose up to fill our birthing pool. I have the baby's clothes folded and put away. I bought diapers for baby! And Oh My Goodness those things are tiny! Mason is still in diapers/pullups but there is a BIG DIFFERENCE in size between a newborn diaper and a 2T/3T pullup! But we are getting things together and I am relaxing more and more as each item is checked off the to do list!

So I thought I would leave you with a belly picture! This is my 34 week belly picture!
You can compare my belly growth using the pictures on the right sidebar. >>>>>>>>

Mother's Blessing Part 4: Tying Hands with Yarn

This is the final blog about my Mother's Blessing! I have written up 4 blogs in total to tell the story! It has been so much fun sharing all the details of this fabulous celebration that my friends created for me! I feel an immense amount of love and support from the ladies that were present for the celebration and the ladies that have participated in the Blessing after wards. Here is yet another opportunity for my friends and family that were not able to attend to take part in this awesome blessing!

The last piece of this Mother's Blessing was the tying of our hands with yarn. It was a way to unite us all in love and support around myself and the baby. A way of recognizing that we are all connected by the ancient women who came before us, who were strong and wise, that birthed the way Nature intended.... free from restrictions, interventions and surrounded by their village of women offering them support as they brought forth their babies. Below is Sara's description of what tying hands of yarns is, why we do it and how to do it:

We sit in a circle around Jen, surrounded by Nature's serenity and beauty, in tune with the Earth Mother. Let’s join hands to create a circle of light around Jen to give her our love and feminine energy. We have created a complete circle, and even though we break our hands, the circle will continue around Jen through her pregnancy and birth, reminding her that we are her circle of women, giving her love and strength and courage and sending her our energy for an easy and peaceful birth. I would like us to join in an ancient tradition of tying our hands together into a circle, each woman wraps the wrist of the woman next to her, and as she winds the yarn around, we all say "From women we are born into this circle, from women we are born unto this Earth". A single yarn will connect all of us. Our circle is complete; we are all connected to Jen and each other as her circle of women. Now we will each go around the circle and cut the yarn between our hands, but even though the yarn is cut and we separate, our circle is still there. When Jen goes into labor, each of you will be contacted and we will all break our bracelets and send Jen our feminine energy, blessings, prayers and thoughts as she peacefully labors.

We used a ball of cotton yarn with purple blue and green threads intertwined. Here is a picture of our circle: Here is my wrist wrapped with the yarn... connected to all the ancient women and to you!

If anyone is interested in wearing a length of the string that was bound in our circle at my Mother’s Blessing I would be happy to send you a piece (some of my close family and friends already have a piece being mailed to them as I write this). I invite you to wrap this string around your wrist or ankle to wear as a reminder of me and my baby as my pregnancy continues and as I prepare to birth. By wearing this string you are accepting your place with the ancient women whom we are all connected to, therefore offering your support, love and energy to me as I prepare to birth. I will think of you and your personal feminine strength joined with the strength of all the ancient women as I birth my baby. These feelings of strength and energy will provide comfort, love and support to me and my baby as we work together to bring him out of my body and into the light.

I will update my facebook status, post on this blog, send a text message and send out an email when my birthing time begins. At that time you may remove your yarn and send up your thoughts, prayers, and blessings to me as I peacefully birth my baby. Thank you for loving me and for being part of my circle.

Mother's Blessing Part 3: Beauty Bay, Foot soak and Journey

The 3rd part of the Mother's Blessing actually started about a year ago. Tim & I had been trying to get pregnant for over 6 months with no luck. I was very upset about how long it was taking for me to conceive. Sara wanted to help me work through my stress and pain. In August of 2008 our families went out to our favorite camping spot for vacation. During the trip Sara and I got a chance to sneak away from the kids and husbands and get some time to ourselves. We choose to use that time as a partial "spa" time and also to hold a fertility ritual to help me work through my emotional difficulties surrounding this touchy subject of infertility/fertility. I have previously blogged about this special time Sara and I had in the forest. You can read it here.

During my Mother's Blessing Sara wanted to recreate some of the aspects of our original fertility journey. In part to pay respects to Mother Nature for allowing me to become pregnant, but also to take me back to the place where I feel the most comfortable and "in my skin". The spot where we camp is just the most beautiful piece of Nature I have ever been fortunate enough to stand or commune in. I feel it is a sacred piece of the Earth.

The other piece of this important journey is that in preparing for my birthing time I am studying hypnobabies. Hypnobabies is basically a childbirth preparation course that uses hypnosis to control the sensations of birthing your child. Part of the course is creating your own "special place" in which to retreat and find comfort. This "special place" can be an actual place or a made up one. I choose to have my "special place" be up on the river where we camp but specifically where Sara and I did my fertility ritual. That spot will always hold a special place in my heart in terms of my abilities to connect with the Earth and stay grounded during my birthing time, simply because of the time Sara and I spent there.

The first thing Sara did to "recreate" the special time we spent on the river was to hold my Mother's Blessing in Nature. We went to Beauty Bay off the Coeur d' Alene Lake. This is the same water that flows in our river spot. Here is a picture of the bay.

Secondly Sara wanted to make sure we were all relaxed and comfortable as we were the day of my ritual. We did a spa type foot soak by the river that day. We had sea salts and pieces of nature we picked along the way in our tub of river water that we soaked our feet in. So at my Mother's blessing Sara brought all we would need to do a foot soak. She brought some of the same type of flowers ferns and tree boughs, as well as salt to put into our water. She even brought warm water to make sure our foot soak was relaxing! Here is a picture of my foot soak before the water was added:Here is a picture of my feet soaking in the wonderful relaxing water!

After Sara got everyone soaking in their personal foot soak she then invited us to close our eyes and listen to her as she read a relaxation journey that she had written for me to use leading up to and during my birthing time. It was a magical time being in the wood by the river, soaking our feet and listening to Sara's beautiful voice as she read these special words. I want to share with you the journey she wrote for me. Below is the "River Journey" she wrote as well as some pictures to help you visualize my "special place".

....Jen's River Journey....

.....please imagine with me a bright circle of light that we are creating as we gather around Jen as part of her circle…..imagine this to be a peaceful light full of our loving energy for Jen and her baby…..warm, welcoming, peaceful light. Now lets imagine this warm light as the sun above us…..gently bringing all of our energy….from wherever we may be while Jen is birthing….. and shining it down on her as she gently and peacefully births her baby. As Jen begins to feel the familiar and intense tugging of her contractions….she remembers and honors the amazing power within her sacred womb…..her baby feeling each gentle hug …. and working with the natural rhythm as he snuggles down for his journey. She will begin to feel the warmth of this loving and peaceful energy….the warmth letting her relax deeper and deeper with each contraction. She will smile knowing that these women in her life…..who all love her…..will be thinking about her….sending her their energy and sending courage and strength to help her get through her birth….sending love so she feels safe…..and nourishing her spirit. She will think about the women who came before them…..who gave birth so they could be with her now…..and the long line of women who came before her…..who gave birth, time and time before…..with strength and courage and peace. She thinks about how powerful this imagery is....of all the women before her birthing...and how amazing our bodies are, to be able to bring life into this world. She will feel comforted by these thoughts….as we send them to her as healing, loving light as she births. As she thinks about this light….like the warm, relaxing light of the sun…..she will begin to drift to her sacred and peaceful place….up in the mountains….up on the River. She will slowly drive the winding road….taking in the beautiful scenery and smelling the fresh air…..so peaceful and serene.

She will pull onto a hidden dirt road…..knowing she is almost there….and get out and start walking to her special place. Through the old and wise trees…. along the narrow path, sunlight dappling the ground beneath her feet...along the old fallen cedar log and the to the edge of the clear river. she will continue along the embankment……the path is not so clear now, but she knows it. A log across the river creates a deep, clear wading pool, inviting and cool....but she continues on and climbs over it…..she is almost there.

Now she has arrived to the second log….she thinks about how her contractions are like climbing over the logs….how her hard work will get her there….and smiles knowing the work her body is doing is productive and satisfying. She gently climbs over the last log and she has arrived to her place in the mountains.

She stops on the side of the bank, to sink her feet into the rich moist Earth beneath….it feels cool and firm....grounding her to the Mother Earth…...giving her deep strength and courage in her core…..making her feel powerful like a Goddess…...yet peaceful and bringing her a reassuring calm…..letting her feel the gravity with each contraction…..again it is a satisfying sensation…..knowing the baby is coming down and will soon be in her arms. Now, she begins to fully experience the beauty around her…..using all of her senses….she focuses intensely on these sensations while she relaxes into each contraction…..and lets the power she felt from the grounding earth, give her body greater strength to bring her baby down.

She gazes into the river…..sparkling in the sunlight….and gently steps in. She feels the familiar smoothness of the river stones…..soft purples, greens, and browns rippling beneath the clear water…..

she knows these rocks are sacred and wise and have come from far-away places.....gently tumbled and shaped by the rushing mountain water….finally settling into their place in the long and winding river. She imagines that pieces of these rocks….even tiny grains of the sand….have wandered their way into the great, powerful and beautiful ocean. She imagines the tides and the waves…..gently ebbing and flowing with her contractions…..she smiles knowing the river she is standing in feeds those waves. It is a powerful image.

As she eases into her birthing pool at home….she imagines she is wading into the river water…..but the water is warm and inviting…..she lays back and and relaxes…..feeling the water support and comfort her…..feeling the water gently flow over her. The water carries away any tension, negativity, or fear....she gives these emotions to the river and lets it fill her with positive, strong and loving energy. As she continues to feel the contractions deep inside her womb….she relaxes more and again focuses on the sensations around her…..she feels calm and happy and peaceful. She closes her eyes….but she can still see the light of the warm sunshine under her heavy lids. It feels warm and loving and encouraging…..she knows we are all sending it to her….and again she smiles. She breathes in deeply and slowly…..following her own body's rhythms…..she can smell the crisp mountain air…..so fresh and pure…..the warm sun releasing the sweet, familiar scent of the wise pines, the cedars and the cool Earth…..it is a comforting smell…..it mingles with the delicate scent of the mountain wildflowers….she imagines them swaying and dancing in the gentle, warm breeze. She listens to the water slowly wandering over the rocks…...over the log into a gentle waterfall….and into the inviting pool. This sound is so soothing…...again, familiar.....she loves falling asleep to this sound....and it brings her into a deeper state of relaxation. She hears distant birds flying high…..amongst the vibrant blue sky….dappled with wispy white clouds. Again she feels the warm sun and the water gently caressing her….supporting her beautiful and amazing body as she continues with her birth. She thinks about the wise pines…..the lush green plants thriving below….the smooth and serene rocks under the clear water…...the warm breeze dancing with the wildflowers….the cool and grounding Earth…..life abounds all around her. In this place she is completely warm and relaxed…..yet powerful and beautiful….she has no fears…..she feels supported and loved.....she is at peace...….she feels serenity…....and can just... be. She is now fully relaxed and fully immersed in her place on the river.

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Sara leaves us with a final thought:

Every woman is an Earth Mother…..a Goddess…..we are sacred and powerful and beautiful and magical!