Harlan's birth story

Harlan’s Birth story

On October 6^th I went to my regular prenatal appointment. I was 40w2d pregnant. At the appointment my MW Linda examined my cervix and also stripped my membranes. I was dilated to 4cm, my cervix was 40% effaced, and baby’s head was at -2 station. My cervix was stretchy and very easy to reach. Linda said it was lined up with my birth canal. She did a thorough stripping that caused some bleeding and cramping. Our baby was still posterior but because he was still at -2 station we felt he would turn once labor begun. She told me that she was not going to make me another appointment for 41wks because she felt that I would give birth before next week. I left her office and was hopeful she was right.

Tim, the kids and I went to Red Robin and had a late lunch. I ate a huge cheeseburger and we all shared a Mile High Mud pie! It was awesome and a really cool memory to make with our family before we added our new baby. After we ate I was feeling full and uncomfortable. We decided to take a walk and let the kids ride their bikes. We walked around the neighborhood and I had contractions the whole time but they were not that strong. When we got home we just did our regular bedtime routine with the kids and then Tim and I watched some TV. I was still cramping and having some bleeding from the membranes stripping. My lower abdominal muscles were very sore from holding up my pregnant belly and I had made it worse by going on our 1.5 mile walk through the neighborhood. Tim and I talked about our baby’s name and looked through a baby name book to see if anything else struck our fancy. We contemplated a few other name options and then I decided I wanted to go to bed around 11:30pm.

At some point in the night Mason woke up and climbed into bed with Tim and I. I think Tim came to bed around 2am and Mason came sometime after that. Around 4am I woke up and needed to pee. After I used the bathroom I climbed back into bed and snuggled with Mason. A few minutes later I felt the first contraction. It was painful and in my back. I thought it might be a fluke. So I waited for a few minutes. I had another contraction. This one hurt and was in my back and I had to breathe through the pain. I did a few more like that one and thought that I didn’t know if it was real but I DID not want to do any more of them alone. So I woke Tim up. He was groggy as he only had been asleep for 2 hrs at that point. He came around the side of the bed and sat behind me to rub my back. After that contraction I knew I did not want to lie in my bed anymore. We got up and went into the living room.

I brought my birth ball and a pile of pillows into the living room. Tim started working through our homebirth checklist to prepare our house for the birth. I got on my hands and knees and started rocking through the contractions. I was still not sure this was really “it”. Tim was. I didn’t want to call anyone to early and then have labor stall. And I figured that I would “know” soon. Tim encouraged me to call Sara and let her know since we knew she would be willing to come over and not be upset if it was a false alarm. At 4:36am I called Sara and she told me she was on her way. I waited a little bit longer and had a few more contractions before Tim suggested I start calling a few more people since it seemed like the contractions were picking up. At 4:45am I called Megan. She was disappointed because she could not take the day off of work due to her boss being on vacation. She wished me well and that she loved me. I was disappointed as well, but understood. Next I called my midwife. Linda and I both expected that my labor would be quick because I was already at 4cm and my last labor was so fast. Little did we know how wrong our predictions would be. Linda said she was headed here. At this point I handed the phone to Tim who called Sarah, my Mom and my brother. I updated my Facebook status, sent out an email, updated my blog and posted on a babycenter.com message board letting my family friends and online friends know that I was in labor. I also called my Aunt Kathy. I was unable to reach Kathy but did talk to Uncle John. He was so sweet. While I was on the phone with him I had a contraction. He coached me through it, told me to “breathe” and stayed quiet until the contraction was over. He got a message to Kathy that my labor started and wished us well and sent us his love! At this point I got busy with contractions and stopped caring about the cell phone or computer

Around 5:16am Sara arrives. Then around 5:30am Linda arrives. I am still on my hands and knees leaned over the birth ball. I am talkative and excited between contractions and am managing well. I get up and go pee and change my clothes. Tim has most of the house preparations done for the birth. Mason and Kaleb wander out at this point. We think they were awakened by the Hypnobabies CD that was playing on the CD player. During the contractions I would call for Tim and he would slow dance with me. Mason wanted to be held so Tim had double duty of holding Mason and holding me up. Finally Mason was content to help Tim fill the pool with water.

Around 6:18am Linda checked me and my cervix was dilated to 5cm and 80% effaced. Baby was still at a -2 station. Linda also took my blood pressure and also took baby’s heart tones. Baby’s heart rate was around 150’s and it seems that baby is now anterior position! Yay!

At some point Sarah arrived and I moved onto sitting on the birth ball and bouncing up and down to get contractions into a closer and stronger pattern. We were hoping that the vertical position and the open pelvis position would encourage baby’s head to come down and press on my cervix helping contractions be more effective in opening my cervix. At this point I discussed with Linda what our plan was since it seemed that labor was moving slow. I knew she had clinic and also had a Dr. appointment for herself as she had a minor surgery scheduled for the following day. We came up with a plan for one of her birth attendants Victoria to come and labor-sit with us so that Linda could go to her Dr. appointment as well as do some of her clinic appointments while we waited for things to pick up with my labor.

Victoria arrived around 7:30am and Linda briefed her on where things where and what was happening. Jasmyn wakes up around now and wants me to cuddle with her on the futon. My birth team gets me settled in on the futon with pillows and heating pad for my back. Jasmyn and I snuggle in and cuddle for a few minutes. Jasmyn decides that she wants to get up and open her Labor Day gift bag (bag of puzzles, color books, toys etc for the kids to play with while I labored) with her brothers. Tim took Jasmyn’s place and hung out with me for a few contractions. 8am Victoria listened to the baby’s heart rate during a contraction. A few minutes later we hear the door open and to our surprise Megan walks in! She decided to blow off work and come hang out with us to photo document my labor! I immediately started crying tears of joy and gratefulness. It was so awesome to see her and I felt such love from her. It was one of the highs of the day!

At this point the contractions are starting to spread out and get less intense. I decide that I should get dressed and walk around the back yard to see if I can get them going again. Our birth team is feeding themselves and the kids some breakfast. We have smoothies and bagels and cream cheese. Walking around the yard the contractions are closer together and stronger. Sara and Tim stayed with me as I walked. Sara rubbed my back and Tim slow danced with me through each contraction. Megan was there to take pictures. Sarah was inside making sure the kids were taken care of. After a while I decide to come in and sit on the birth ball for a while. As soon as I sat down on the birth ball the contractions spread out again. I was getting so frustrated. Victoria suggested that I try some nipple stimulation. After some convincing on my part I got Tim to help me out with that. LOL! 9:45am We ended up going into the bedroom and taking some private time. The funniest part of that whole situation was that the lubricant that we had on hand was edible Strawberry Cheesecake lube! LOL! I will never look at that tube of lube the same! Anyway, the nipple stimulation worked very well. It made the contractions come strong and hard and close together. We did that for about an hour. At that point I was d-o-n-e with nipple stimulation! And I smelled like Strawberry cheesecake! I came out and sat on the birth ball for a while and bounced. Again I was trying to get baby to come down and apply pressure to my cervix. I was also complaining at that point that I felt pressure in my cervix and that it was constant pressure. I wanted to relax into the pool. I went to the bathroom and emptied my bowels and bladder before stepping into the pool. I listened to my Hypnobabies CD while laying in the tub.

The kids took turns using a cup and pouring water over my belly. 12:30pm - At this point I got kinda cranky. I told the adults to stay quiet since we couldn’t get the kids to be quiet! I also started asking for Linda to come back. Victoria called Linda and she said she would head back over. I really thought that things were picking back up. I felt a constant pressure in my bottom. I thought it could be the baby’s head. Linda arrived at our house around 1:15pm. I was relieved to see her. At this point I felt that my bladder was really full but I could not empty it. Linda suggested I change positions. I got onto my hands and knees and was finally able to pee. But my contractions were spacing out again. I was so frustrated. I had Linda check me again and I was 6cm and still only 80% effaced. And we discovered that the bag of waters was bulging in my cervix preventing the baby’s head from applying pressure directly on my cervix. At this point I decided to do another round of nipple stimulation. So Tim and I got into the shower. I wanted to get clean since I was sweaty and smelled like Strawberry cheesecake still! LOL! I was really hoping that the nipple stimulation would get the contractions strong enough to break my water and the standing position in the shower would help apply more pressure to the bag. While we were in the shower I lost a huge chuck of my mucous plug and Tim was so grossed out! It was hilarious! Again the nipple stimulation worked and I had lots of strong contractions. After a while I was again d-o-n-e with nipple stimulation. I kept thinking that being on the “freight train of labor” is one thing, but asking for the “freight train” is a whole other thing. So doing nipple stimulation or being in positions that caused stronger contractions just seemed tiring. I was losing steam and I just wanted the whole thing to be OVER. But I knew that I had to keep trying to get contractions into a good labor pattern.

After the shower I got dressed again and decided to walk around the yard some more. Kaleb walked with us and he expressed his impatience with the whole process! He just wanted the baby to be born so he could cut the cord! I suggested that Kaleb and Jasmyn go to the park with Sarah for a while. By this point Mason was taking a nap. So Sarah loaded the kids into the truck and took them to the park for some distraction. We told them we would call if anything changed or if I got close to being done. Instead the weather changed suddenly and it started to rain which pushed me back inside and the kids home from the park. Once I was inside I stayed standing and paced around the house. After a while I started to feel sick to my stomach and realized I was hungry. I ate some grapes for a fast sugar boost and felt immediately better. Around 3pm I was really losing steam and just wanted to be done. I asked Linda what my options were and she and I discussed breaking my water. At this point I just felt I was up against a wall. I had been laboring for 11 hours. I had done everything “right” by staying vertical, sitting on the birth ball, being on my hands and knees since that seemed to make contractions stronger, and 2 rounds of nipple stimulation. And I was still in active labor but not in a good labor pattern. I kept saying that I was the tortoise from the “Tortoise and the Hare” story. I keep thinking “slow and steady wins the race”. Linda was concerned about my energy level since I had only gotten 4 ½ hrs of sleep and had only lightly eaten all day. I wanted her to check me again and see where I was before I agreed to have her break my water. She told me that if I decided to have my water broken that she would want to break it during a contraction so that the baby’s head is as far down as possible to prevent cord prolapse. So we discussed the risks of breaking the water and what the benefits would be. The risks would be slim because I was so far advanced as far as cervical dilation and the baby’s head was low. We talked about what happened in my previous labors when my water broke. In all 3 labors as soon as my water broke labor kicked in full force and I birthed the babies quickly. Linda thought it was highly likely that the same thing would happen again. I agreed but still wanted her to check me before I agreed. So we readied the area for water breaking and Tim and Sarah topped off the birth pool with hot water.

Linda checked me and I was at 7cm and still only 80% effaced. Baby’s head still was not applied to the cervix and the bag of water was bulging into the cervix. Clearly, the bag was preventing effacement and dilation. It was now3:15pm, and I had only progressed 1 cm in 2 hours. My labor would stall if I wasn’t actively doing nipple stimulation, bouncing on the ball or standing. And I was exhausted. So I told her to go ahead and break my water. We waited until my next contraction. Linda had her hand and the amnio hook inside waiting. All the sudden my water starts to leak and then break. Linda is surprised because she did not hook the bag. All we can figure is that at the start of the contraction, the bag bulged against the hook or her fingers and broke. Whatever happened really didn’t matter because I had agreed to have my water broken and it broke! In my next breath I asked “is the water clear?” Linda said “no, you have mec”. I immediately started crying. I had never had meconium in any of my births. And depending on the severity I knew it might be a reason to transfer to the hospital. Usually babies only release mec if they are distressed during labor and that means that the baby might not be tolerating labor well. Not to mention the complications it can cause the baby if the mec gets into his lungs. All of these thoughts went racing through my head at the same time. Linda said that it was slight mec staining. She told me she wasn’t worried about it because it “was not a labor event”. At the time I was not sure what that meant but I did ask her later after the birth was over. The mec was well dissolved and the water was only slightly colored. It absorbed well into the chux pads and was basically liquid not at all chunky. What she meant by “not a labor event” was that she felt that since our baby’s heart tones had been consistently at 150’s the whole labor every time they checked it, which was often and the fact that the mec was so well dissolved she felt that he had released the mec days prior and that it was not due to distress during labor. At any rate, the mec was present and I was upset. But I did not have time to dwell on that fact since my labor kicked in full force as soon as the water was broken. I got into the pool and tried to find a comfortable position. I tried sitting on my butt and that just was not working. Pretty soon I flipped over onto my hands and knees. I stayed in this position for the duration of my labor and birth.

This is where time gets very fuzzy for me. I know that all my birth team was there and my children were there (except Mason who was still napping). Sara was kneeling in front of me and Tim was pouring water over my back at each contraction. I remember thinking that labor was still manageable, and I could do this. Then the next moment when the contraction hit I was scared again. I kept saying “owie” and “it hurts it hurts it hurts”. Someone kept handing me a cold washcloth. It was for my face but I ended up chewing on it as I worked through the last of my labor. It was very primal. I have never chewed on a washcloth before and doubt I will again! But at the time it was the only thing I could do. I told Sara and Tim that I was scared and that it hurt. They talked me through it and reminded me that I was almost done. I felt like pushing but Linda was not sure I was complete. I asked her to check me so that I could start to push. As it was I was grunting and pushing at the peak of each contraction. Linda checked me in the position I was in. She said she felt a cervical lip. She told me that she could try to push it over his head during the next contraction if I wanted her to try. I knew it would hurt but I wanted this to be DONE. I told her to try. She had us turn in the tub to a better position so she could reach more easily (the pool was up against the wall and my butt was facing the wall and she was having to contort herself to reach me). I had Tim switch positions with Sarah so he and Sara were right in front of me and Sarah was pouring water over my back with Jasmyn’s help. Kaleb was running the video camera taping the whole scene! At the next contraction I pushed and Linda pushed the cervix over his head. I was finally complete. His head came down like lightening! LOL! I could feel his feet pushing on the top of my uterus. I was immediately reminded that we were a TEAM and the he was working with me to be born. It made me happy and reminded me why I was doing this… for my baby. I started to push in earnest at this point. I was doing a lot of screaming and trying to get away from the pain. Linda, Tim and Sara were encouraging me to stop making noise and focus the push into my bottom instead. I could feel his head coming down and bulging my perineum. Linda wanted me to reach down and feel his head but I was too scared and moving in that way made the contraction hurt worse. I pushed through a few more contractions and I could feel Linda supporting my perineum trying to get it to stretch. I could feel the ring of fire. It burned and I wanted to stop pushing but I knew that it wouldn’t stop burning until I pushed him out. It was at this point that the word EPIDURAL popped into my mind! LOL! I reached down with my hand and felt his little head crowing. I could feel my skin stretch at the top and Linda suggested I support the top and she would support the perineum below. As soon as I could feel the progress when I pushed I KNEW I could get him out. I was so close. I did not wait for the next contraction. I just pushed so it was just my strength instead of my uterus and my push. I figured it would protect my premium better that way. So I pushed and supported the top of my vagina. I could feel his head slip out. Linda told me to slow down. But it was too late. His head was out! I said “Pull him out Linda”. She said “you have to push him out”. I pushed again and felt his body slip out into Linda’s hands. As soon as he was clear I carefully flipped over and lifted my leg over him and untangled myself from his umbilical cord. Linda handed him to me.

I was so elated! I was practically yelling. I was telling him how happy I was that he was here and that he was OUT. Linda gently reminded me to lower my voice. LOL! Time of birth was 4:45pm on October 7^th, 2009. I took a good look at him. He has the cutest face and full kissable lips. He didn’t make much noise at all. But he was breathing and his heart rate was good. I felt for his cord and found that it was still pulsing, so I knew he was still getting oxygenated blood.

I lifted his leg to verify his was in fact a boy! We hung out in the pool for a bit and I loved on my baby. I told Kaleb & Jasmyn that his cord was still pulsing and they put on latex gloves and felt the cord. That was so cool to see them feel his pulsing cord. Both their little faces lit up with excitement.

At this point I asked for someone to go get Mason. When he woke up he started crying so Tim went to comfort him.

After a few minutes the placenta was born. And then Kaleb cut his umbilical cord with the help of Auntie Sarah since Tim was holding Mason.

After the placenta was born and the cord was cut I wanted out of the pool. I handed the baby to Tim and he took the baby directly over to Jasmyn who got to hold him first before anyone else. Then Mason took a turn and then Kaleb.

While the kids and Tim were bonding with the baby I got out of the tub, got dried and dressed. I made my way over to the futon in the living room to lay down and watch the kids. My new little family all snuggled with the baby and each other. After a while Linda and Victoria did the newborn exam on the futon next to me. Our baby weighed 8lbs 14oz,

and was 21.5 inches long. Linda also measured his head and found it to be 37 cm but there was no molding of the bones in his skull.

Basically that meant that his head did not give at all during the birth process which was probably why it took so much effort on my part to push him out, and why I had a 1^st degree tear. After the exam Tim got our baby dressed while Mason watched.

We took pictures of our birth team with our baby and me.

And we took our first Bray Family picture.

After that people were starting to leave. We were so tired and just wanted to go to sleep. We all ate some dinner and then the last of our birth team left.

Tim and I were still unsure about what to name our baby. After everyone left we discussed his name with the kids and then we came to a decision. We named our baby Harlan Michael Bray!