On the 3rd I picked Tim up from Lewiston and he was home for the whole month of July. So we begin our waiting for Mason. During the waiting I tried my best to prepare for the birth. My Aunt Kathy sent me a beautiful Mandala that she created for me. My best friend and labor coach Sara painstakingly painted the mandala design onto my belly with henna. The process was long and tedious. So much love and work went into the henna design. Kathy had dreamed the mandala and at the center of it was a flower. Before falling asleep every night I would meditate on the flower and envision my cervix opening like the petals of the flower. I also envisioned my Aunt Kathy’s love surrounding my baby and myself and her energy giving me strength to give birth. Henna painting in and of itself is an ancient tradition. Women of long ago would paint each other’s bodies to mark rites of passage. So doing the Mandala design in henna not only united me with two incredible strong women in my Aunt Kathy and my best friend Sara but also the ancient women who painted each other while waiting for birth. Much the same as I was waiting for my son’s birth.
We went to a midwife appointment on July 5th and was told that my cervix was at a 2cm and 40% effaced. We were encouraged because it seemed that things were going to progress quickly. But alas the 11th rolled around and again we were at the midwife’s office and she stripped my membranes in hopes of getting my labor started. I was 4cm and 40% effaced and the baby was at –3 station. But the biggest news was that my cervix had moved forward and was inline with my birth canal. We really thought I would go into labor in the next few days. Mentally all these vaginal exams and numbers were a challenge. And coupled with the dehydration contractions on the 1st I really thought I should have delivered by then. I really felt that something was wrong with me and that my baby would not be born without some medical intervention. Since Kaleb was induced with pitocin and Jasmyn with Castor oil I really started to doubt that my body could go into labor on it’s own. I was depressed. I stopped taking phone calls from family and friends wanting to know "have you had your baby yet?" I hunkered down in my house and waited.
My Mom and I went crazy with labor waiting projects like making 4 different types of jam and jelly! Tim and I watched our favorite TV shows that we had taped in hopes of "relaxing the baby out". We rented movies. I would go to bed each night thinking…..Tonight could be it! But each morning when I would wake up I would think…… "Damn I am STILL FREAKIN’ PREGNANT!"
On Monday the 17th I went in for another prenatal exam. Linda our midwife stripped my membranes again and I left her office 5cm dilated and 40% effaced. I walked around Wal-Mart doing last minute shopping hoping that the contractions and cramping would continue. When I got home and took a nap the cramping went away. I woke up depressed and so scared that I would risk out of a homebirth since I was overdue. Or that Tim wouldn’t get any time with Mason before he had to go back on the road. I called my old friend and Midwife Valerie. She told me that it is normal for me to go overdue. That I was overdue with both Kaleb and Jasmyn and that Mason is no different. My body will work on it’s own. But she also mentioned a few things that I could talk to Linda about in terms of getting my labor going if I reached a point close to risking out of a homebirth at 42 weeks gestation. I got off the phone and felt relieved that she had faith in my body and that things could still work out and I could get the birth I really wanted. But in the morning I woke up….. STILL FREAKIN’ PREGNANT!
On Tuesday the 18th I went about my regular activities. My friend Sarah was in town and she stopped by to visit. I took a nap in the afternoon and for some reason when I woke up I was overcome with this horrible feeling that this labor would never start. Out of the blue at 5pm or so my midwife Linda called and checked in with me. She wanted to know how I was doing since she hadn’t heard from me since Monday. I spoke with her about what options I had in terms of induction if I got close to risking out of a homebirth at 42 weeks. She and I discussed breaking my water and or using misoprostol as an induction agent. We talked about the potential risks and benefits. We decided together that we would wait until the 20th to decide for sure what to do and make sure I really wanted to induce.
I was speaking to Tim about what she had said when my Aunt Kathy called. I gave her the update and she listened intently and asked a few questions. Then she made a suggestion that I pick an induction date closer to 42 weeks and then try to let the worry go. She said that picking a date in the future and knowing I still had that option might just free my mind up to go into labor on my own and even if I didn’t at least I could enjoy the next week of my pregnancy and stop stressing over it. She also ended our call by saying "no doors have been closed yet. You can still have the birth of your dreams." Basically that I hadn’t risked out yet and that Mason could still be born before any interventions happened. So I spoke with Tim and we agreed that the most important thing was that Tim be there for the delivery and that he help catch the baby. So to get that dream we knew we needed to have the baby at home not in the hospital. So avoiding any intervention that could put us in the hospital was very important to us both. So we decided to set the induction date for the 25th and let it go. We both felt a sense of peace and relief wash over us. We gave it up to Mason to decide when to be born and left the desire to control the situation behind us.
July 19th arrived and I was still pregnant but I wasn’t unhappy about it. We decided to go up to Sandpoint and visit my 2 aunts up there so that my Mom could pick up some furniture that she had bought from my Aunt Terrie. We loaded the kids up in the truck and headed down the road. We arrived in Sandpoint and I just felt like I wanted to go home. I didn’t want to be there and I wanted to rest in my own bed. I was cranky with my kids and my Mom and Tim. I rushed us out of there and we headed home. The ride home was bumpy and I was uncomfortable. The kids were cranky and I just wanted to take a nap. I remember telling Tim, "gosh I want a nap before I go into labor". He didn’t think anything of it, he just laughed.
We got home around 1:30pm. The kids and I laid down for a nap in my bed around 1:45. I woke up to a contraction. It was about 3:30pm. I laid there thinking…. "maybe I just need to pee" I had Jasmyn (2 yrs old) on one side and Kaleb (3 1/2 yrs old) on the other. I couldn’t get up without waking someone. I had another contraction. This one hurt and I had to relax and breath through it. After it was over I woke Kaleb up and climbed out of bed. I went into the bathroom and went pee. My discharge had changed from a brown mucous to a bright pink/red mucous. Could it be bloody show? When I stood up I had another contraction. So I thought….."hummm this could be it." So at 3:38 about 8 minutes after I awoke, I called Tim and told him to come home right now. Now I was pacing. I couldn’t decide what to do. I told Kaleb to go get Grandma, she was downstairs. He leaves. I decide to get some clothes and get dressed. Then I decide to call my midwife Linda and "put her on alert". She says that she will finish clinic with her 2 patients and then call me back but to call if anything changes. That was at 3:42.
I get dressed and have another contraction. I felt a gush in my underwear. I decide to call Sara. I tell her that "I think I am in labor but don’t know but ya know how you just know? You should come right away". I told her I had had a few contractions and that I was gushing stuff every time I contracted. It was a funny conversation. She told me she was on her way and hung up. Tim arrived home shortly after that. I was sitting at my computer sending out a few last minute emails and posting on a few message boards to let family, friends, and cyber friends know that I thought I might be in labor. I was having contractions and they felt better when I stood up. So I would be typing along and feel one coming and quickly stand up and sway with them. Eventually I got to the point where I couldn’t type anymore. I quickly told my Mom which web sites to update as I labored and then got down to the business of labor.
When a contraction would start I would hang on to Tim and slow dance. In between contractions he would rush around and make the final preparations for the birth. He would stop and hold me through a contraction and then rush around and show my Mom where the plastic sheeting was for the bed. And then rush back to hold me for the next contraction. I decided I wanted him to get the pool set up and start filling it because I knew it would take some time to fill and I wanted it ready once I decided to get in. So in between contractions he set up the pool in the dinning room and got the hose out. I was amazed that he never missed a contraction. He was always right there when I needed him.
Sara arrived around 4:30pm. Her husband Gerry helped her bring her things in and Tim asked him to help hook the hose up to the kitchen sink faucet and start filling the pool. Gerry did that and then left. I was feeling lots of pressure and felt the need to pee. I went a few times but the contractions were so much stronger when I was sitting on the toilet. I really wanted to avoid the bathroom, but I knew with all the water I was drinking that I would be back. On my last trip I was having lots of bloody discharge.
At 4:57 I feel a small gush of water. I am pretty sure my water was at least leaking at this point. Right about then our midwife Linda walks in. I was excited to see her and I felt well supported and loved by all the people there. Tim and I were still slow dancing through the contractions. Sara would rub my back and my arms and remind me to let my muscles relax and not fight the contraction. When Kaleb and Jasmyn would see us swaying back and forth they would come and hug our legs and sway with us. It was cute although kinda distracting. I didn’t want to shoo them away because it was so cute and I wanted them to feel included. I was happy when they got bored with us and our swaying.
Around 5:10 I got into the pool. The warmth of the water was so relaxing. I started out on a hands and knees position but that position was way to intense. So after the contraction was over I sank back onto my butt and let the water cover my belly. It was so warm and really helped me cope with the contractions and stay relaxed. Around 5:15 Linda listened to the baby. Kaleb was very interested in the baby’s heart beat. He kept calling Linda "the Doctor". It took me a few minutes to convince him she was a midwife not a doctor. After we listened to the baby Kaleb says "good job mommy, good job with Mason’s heartbeat". It was cute. Jasmyn came over to see what was going on and splashed me with some water, she then tottled off to the living room to watch a movie. Kaleb pulled a chair up in front of the pool and watched me through a few contractions. Then he said out of the blue…."Don’t poop in the pool Mommy". We all laughed and I told Linda that when we put Kaleb in the pool in our back yard that I always tell him that he has to tell us if he needs to go potty and that he can’t poop in the pool. Laughing was a nice way to spend time between contractions.
At the next contraction I was moaning and working through the contraction, Kaleb was still watching. All the sudden he says, "Look at me Mommy, Look at me. Take a deep breath Mommy, take a deeeeep breath". I had to open my eyes and look at him and smile. He was so cute. My own personal 3 year old doula! He was using the same technique on me that I use on him when he is throwing a fit. I guess he thought that my moaning was a "fit". After the contraction was over he asked me if I was Ok. I looked up at him again and smiled and said, "I am just fine. Mommy is OK, it just hurts a little bit when Mason is trying to get out of Mommy’s tummy, but Mommy is fine". He hopped off the chair and joined his sister watching a movie.
Around 5:37 the contractions seemed to be getting stronger. I could feel them peak in the front but my back was achy as well. I started saying things like "I want this to be over" Linda, Sara and Tim wold tell me how great I was doing and how relaxed I looked. It was so helpful to have them tell me that I looked relaxed because I didn’t feel relaxed at some points. I would hold my belly and try to encourage or envision Mason helping me birth him. Around 5:41 I commented that I thought he was working himself down because I felt pain at my pubic bone. Linda said it was probably my cervix not my pubic bone. Around 5:47 I had a few contractions back to back. I got little to no break between them. Things were starting to intensify. Sara and Tim would rub my arms and talk to me through the contraction and tell me how great I was doing and how relaxed I looked. Linda would remind me to keep my face relaxed and my legs relaxed. We listened to the baby through a contraction and as the contraction started his heart rate would accelerate then slow at the peak of the contraction then recover nicely afterwards. Mason would move around between contractions and also he would move his head around during the contractions as well. Feeling him move during a contraction was very intense, but also so reassuring, like we were working together to bring him out.
Around 5:55 felt a tremendous amount of pressure and I asked Linda to check me. I was 6cm, 100% effaced and baby was at 0 station. Yay! I knew it wouldn’t be long now that I was 100% effaced. I knew it would just get more intense from here. I told Mason, "Ok Mason I just need a half hour nap," It was again nice to laugh. Tim and I looked at each other and we both knew I was headed to transition. The contractions started to change. They were more intense and less time between them. The intensity and the way my uterus was contracting reminded me of my labor and transition with Jasmyn. I KNEW I was in transition then. I told them, "I’m in transition". Tim just smiled and squeezed my shoulder knowingly. Somewhere around here my Mom answered the door, it was the pizza delivery man. She had ordered pizza for dinner for my kids and for us after the birth. I bet the pizza delivery guy got an earful because I was moaning like a cow! She got the kids set up in the living room in their high chairs watching a movie and eating pizza.
This is when things got very intense for me. Around 6:06 I started to get the slightest urge to push at the peak of each contraction. I was feeling like I couldn’t handle it. I was saying things like "I don’t like this" or "I feel pressure" and "I feel like I want to cry". I was squeezing Sara’s hand and really having to try hard to stay relaxed. "Oh Mason Come on Baby". Around 6:20 I start to grunt at the top of each contraction. Linda checks me to make sure I am complete. I’m not. I am only at 9cm. She tells me I can push at the top but not hard. I try really hard to wait until the urge is overwhelming. At 6:30 My water breaks. Tim and Linda see a cloud of white come out of me. Linda says it is vernix. I am surprised because I really thought I wouldn’t have any vernix left considering I am 6 days overdue. Tim was shocked as well as amazed that he got to see it break. 6:33 Linda listens to Mason again. His heart rate is strong and he is handling the contractions well. I feel a very strong urge to push as soon as my water breaks. I feel like his head is right there. 6:35 Linda says "she’s complete and plus 2". And with that I start pushing. The pressure is always there. I feel like there is a bowling ball in my butt. It is a familiar feeling, I remember that both Kaleb and Jasmyn felt the same way. I knew I would be holding my baby soon and the pain and pressure would be over. Linda tells me to feel my baby’s head. I feel his hair and his skin all squished. I push again and I am trying to support the top of my vagina. I can feel it burn as it stretches. Linda says to slow down and listen to her so I don’t tear. I can feel her fingers stretching my perineum. I slow down and grunt and let my tissues stretch. Tim moves into position next to Linda. I push one more time. I feel his head slip out and then his body all in one fluid motion. Tim is lifting him towards me. I reach down and we pull him up together. All the sudden Linda says "Stop there is a cord." So we pause and we are fumbling around trying to get the cord unwrapped. It won’t unwrap. It is twisted and we have cinched it down when we pulled him out of the water. Linda submerges him again and I loosen and unwrap the cord. He is free. Tim hands him up to me.
Mason does a big cough and then starts to cry. I lift his leg and yes he is a BOY! 6:39pm Mason Alexander is water birthed into his Daddy’s arms!
I start to cry and I look around and see my Mom standing above the pool taking pictures. My kids are there with us, looking at their baby brother. Jasmyn comes right up to the pool and says "Look Mom, a Baby" She reaches her hand out and touches him.
He is crying and looking so beautiful. He is covered in vernix but otherwise clean. I wiped him down with a receiving blanket and held him close. Kaleb was watching from afar. After the cord stopped pulsating Linda clamped the cord and my Mom cut it.
Kaleb saw the cord and the blood and asked, "Dad is Mason’s tail Ok?" So Tim had to explain what the umbilical cord was and that Mason really didn’t have a tail. It was very cute. Shortly after that I felt the placenta and that it needed to come out. I pushed and out it came. Then I got out of the tub. Tim held Mason and showed him to Jasmyn.
I walked back to my bedroom to be examined and to check Mason out. I had a small skin tear on my perineum that did not require stitches! I was so relieved.
Mason weighed in at 7pounds 7ounces and was 21 inches long. His head was 34 cm in circumference. After our exams Mason started to root around so we nursed both sides. He took to the breast well and seemed content to be nursing. Kaleb finally came around to meet his baby brother.
After we nursed, got cleaned up and dressed my little family all cuddled up on the couch to welcome our sweet baby into the world.
Our First Family Picture
Some things that were surprising to me about our birth was that it only lasted 3 hours from the first contraction to Mason being born. I was also surprised that he had so much vernix considering he was 6 days overdue. The best part was how alert and happy he was after the birth. He just looked around and was in awe to see his Brother and Sister. Jasmyn and Kaleb wanted to hug and kiss and hold him.
Jasmyn loved to kiss his feet and she kept saying, "Look Mom a Baby". Kaleb said, "Oh Mom I am so happy Mason is out of your Tummy". The love they have for Mason is so easy to see and so beautiful. Tim is just so happy to have caught his son. It was a dream of his since I was pregnant with Jasmyn. So I am so glad that his dream came true. The birth was exactly what I wanted. No interventions. A peaceful birth at home with my family around me supporting me and loving me. Mason was born gently with no time limits or restrictions. I assumed the positions my body told me to, I pushed when I wanted to, I relaxed and allowed my body to lead the way.Then
Now
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