Stupid Stupid Stupid OPKs!

I hate them I hate them I hate them! OPKs are the silliest invention on earth next to Banana Hammocks ( the ACTUAL banana hammocks, not just boys in tight underwear... eeewww Yuck). So I have been faithfully charting my cycle, Temps, Cervical fluid and position, moods, cramps, heck even diarrhea. I have also been peeing on ovulation prediction strips (aka. OPKs) on a daily basis. So the stars aligned, oceans washed up on whatever shore, Moon shone bright, my CP and CM all indicated I ovulated. Yippie, right? Nope the stupid OPKs are STILL negative. Negative negative negative. What a TOTAL waste of time, energy, and (dare I say it) PEE!

Here is my chart for this month indicating that I ovulated on Saturday:

So there it is. CP, CM, Temps, everything all indicate Ovulation! The only thing that is NOT aligned is the stupid Opks. So guess what....I faked it! I put a + on the chart where I thought my OPKs were "the most positive" even though by the directions it was still a negative. Grrrrr. Here is the picture of my whole OPK series:

They look negative right? The rule is 2nd line must be "as dark or darker" than the control line. Yeah.... none of mine fit that description. In fact the ONLY one that even has a 2nd line was Number 19 (3rd from bottom). Here is a closer picture of that OPK (at the very bottom):

Yeah I put a RED arrow up there to point to the line so you might be able to catch a glimpse of the faint faint faint line. Grrrrrrrrrrr

I asked around on some message boards about other women's experiences with OPKs and they say that I am doing it correctly. Oh did I forget to mention there are RULES when you take OPKs? Ah yes.... the "rules": You CANNOT use First Mornings Urine. But the urine you do use must be concentrated urine. So they suggest you deprive yourself of fluids and the toilet for 3-4 hrs to let the urine get good and concentrated before testing. Then you must pee into a clean cup and dip the strip for 5 second but not more than 7 seconds! LOL! So if I am doing it correctly and I am not over saturating my strips but still not getting a Positive OPK then 1 of 3 things is happening.... 1) My LH surge is very short and happens overnight when I am not testing because I can't use first mornings urine. or 2) I am a freak that does not metabolism LH into my urine in measurable amounts or 3) I am so afraid of daily dehydration and I won't allow myself to damage a kidney just to test for a stupid LH surge that May or May Not be occurring! I vote for the latter! LOL!

Now I have about 75 (yes you read that correctly...75 seventy - five) OPKs test strips. And as far as I am concerned they are USELESS! I did only pay like 30 cents a strip plus shipping,but still I am out some $22.50! I think I will try to sell the OPKs on a message board! LOL!

All this crap and I am not even TRYING to get pregnant this cycle! LOL!

Anyone have a comment? Please oh please comment! I need someone to share my misery with!